Coping with Change

Change is all around us from our first breath until our last. Our relationships, families, physical and mental health, jobs, communities, and finances continue to change, directly and indirectly affecting us. Knowing a transition is coming can help us prepare for a new situation. However, not every change is expected, and sudden negative events can easily turn into a crisis and lead to trauma.

Effects of Poor Coping Skills

Though change is not optional, your attitude is. Attempting to avoid change or pretend it doesn’t exist will only harm you and possibly others. Poor coping skills can negatively impact your body, thoughts, and emotions. If you can’t cope well with change, you’re at a higher risk for symptoms of anxiety and depression, and your overall physical health is likely to suffer. Relationships with those you care about may grow strained and tense. And it will only take a very small amount of stress to make you feel completely overwhelmed. Defining your life goals and dreams will also become difficult and clouded.

Positive Ways to Cope with Change

If you feel as if you’re not processing change as well as you could, be encouraged. Your ability to positively cope with change, sometimes called resilience, is not a fixed value but a learned skill. Specific ways of acting and thinking can help you live a life that welcomes change. You can also learn to adapt more easily to new experiences and environments. The following strategies will help you cope well with the changes affecting your life, whether they are expected or unexpected:

• Control. Learn to accept what you can and can’t control. We will spend an enormous amount of time and energy if we blame others and try to make them change. If we constantly take another person’s actions personally, we can easily feel stuck in the situation. The sooner we realize we can only control ourselves, the more quickly we can bounce back. Consider how you can take responsibility in the situation. How can you change what’s happening? What could you do to accomplish your goals? Fix your mindset on the only thing you can control, and that’s you.
• Examine thinking. Sometimes when we feel stressed or anxious, our minds will go into overdrive. We might jump to worst-case scenarios or even imagine impossible or irrational situations. However, slowing our minds down with some relaxation techniques will help us examine those wayward thoughts. Focusing on the facts can help keep our thoughts and emotions under control. This will also help us strategize where to put our energy and how to solve the problem.
• Permission to grieve. Many changes take the form of losses. Even a good change can bring a sense of loss or sadness. For example, graduating from college is a wonderful transition, yet you might miss being a student, the environment, or the friends you made. During change, it’s important to allow yourself time to grieve what may have been lost such as a job, a title, your sense of security, a loved one, or a pet. You’ll need time to embrace the change, take care of yourself, and possibly seek support.
• Timing. Being able to positively cope with change gives us the opportunity to look at past, present, and future perspectives.
• Consider past challenges. One way to positively face change is to look back. This can remind you of your ability to solve problems and adapt to new situations. You can also examine these past experiences and look for areas of growth. Ask yourself, “How would I handle these changes differently than before? What strategies haven’t I tried before?”
• Focus on the present. Both looking at the past and planning for the future have value. However, remember not to lose sight of the present. Take some time each day to practice relaxation exercises. Focus on your breathing and senses to feel calmer and more ready to tackle new experiences. Relaxation techniques will also help you notice your physical and emotional responses to stress and when to address them.
• Set future goals. Times of change are excellent opportunities to reflect on your values and purpose in life. Perhaps you’ve been exhausting valuable time and effort on unimportant situations. Having clear values and goals for the future help ward off the physical and emotional symptoms that emerge in changing and uncertain times.

Humans were never intended nor built to weather life’s storms on their own. Leaning on friends or family or seeking help from a medical or mental health professional can help you regain your energy, focus, and passion for your goals. Support groups can also assist you in embracing the change, letting go, and moving onward and upward with your life.

Looking for more information? Check out these resources:

American Psychological Association. Resilience. Opens in a new window Accessed January 22, 2023.

Helpguide.org. Dealing with uncertainty. Opens in a new window Published November 21, 2022. Accessed January 22, 2023.

Mayo Clinic. Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship. Opens in a new window Published July 14, 2022. Accessed January 22, 2023.

Last updated: February 10, 2023

By: © PAS Wellbeing Media, LLC. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.