Grief and Loss: Loss of a Partner

Losing a spouse or partner is more than just losing a loved one—it’s losing a part of yourself. The person you shared your life with, your best friend, your safe place, is suddenly gone, leaving a silence that echoes through every part of your world. Their absence isn’t just emotional—it’s woven into your daily routines, your home, your future plans. Even the smallest things—morning coffee, inside jokes, the sound of their voice—become painful reminders of what’s missing.

It’s not just about the love you shared; it’s the loss of companionship, stability, and the life you built together. If your partner provided emotional or financial support, you may now feel unmoored, uncertain of how to navigate life alone. Whether you were together for a few years or a lifetime, the pain is profound, and it’s okay to feel like your world has been turned upside down.

The Deep Impact of Grief

Grief isn’t just emotional—it takes a toll on your body, too. You might struggle to sleep, lose your appetite, or feel exhausted no matter how much rest you get. Everyday tasks can seem overwhelming, and focusing on work or responsibilities may feel impossible. The weight of loss can make even simple things—cooking dinner, paying bills, making decisions—feel unbearably heavy.

Then there are the emotions, unpredictable and relentless. One moment, you might feel numb, and the next, an overwhelming wave of sorrow, anger, or fear. You might be angry at your partner for leaving, guilty over things left unsaid, or terrified of facing life alone. Many people struggle with remorse, replaying moments and wondering if they could have done more. And then there’s the loneliness—the deep ache of coming home to an empty house, of waking up without them beside you.

Healthy Ways to Grieve

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and while there’s no “right” way to grieve, the choices you make during this time can either support your healing or add to your pain. Some people find healthy ways to cope, allowing them to process their emotions and gradually adjust to life after loss. Others, however, may struggle, shutting others out, making impulsive decisions, or seeking escape through alcohol or drugs. Understanding the difference between helpful and harmful coping strategies can make all the difference in navigating grief with resilience and self-compassion.

Here are some healthy ways to cope with grief:

Physical

• Practice self-care. During the grieving process, it’s imperative that you don’t neglect your health. Making wise food choices, getting enough rest, staying hydrated, and exercising regularly is critical. Though you may not feel like it, you’re actually helping the healing process by practicing good self-care. You should never feel guilty for taking good care of yourself.
• Know your limits. You might need to talk with your employer about a more flexible work schedule. Perhaps you can’t assume all the household responsibilities your spouse or partner handled. Be patient with yourself if you need to learn new tasks or skills as it will take time. There’s nothing wrong with saying “no” and setting limits while you heal.

Emotional

• Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings about the loss can be helpful. Though remembering your spouse or partner might be painful, memories can also bring back some of the joy you felt with them. Recording your thoughts is also a way to chronicle your healing as the weeks and months pass.
• Avoid big life decisions. Large changes like moving, taking a new job, or making a major purchase should be placed on hold until you feel better. Grief can cloud good thinking, so while risky decisions might seem rewarding in the moment, you might regret them later.
• Plan for hard days. Plan ahead for special events, holidays, or anniversaries to smooth the transition. Take time to honor your spouse on the special day or have someone available to talk to about your grief. Prepare beforehand so you can use the day to be positive, get support, and care for yourself.

Social

• Honor your partner’s life. One way to embrace a new beginning is to honor your partner’s life. Although they are no longer with you, there are ways to recognize their values and beliefs. Consider holding a special memorial service, planting a tree, or volunteering for their favorite charitable cause.
• Engage your interests. If the upcoming weeks feel empty, make plans to do things you know you’ll enjoy. Meet up with friends, join a community group, or take a class to learn something new. Having plans to look forward to each week can increase your energy level and lift your mood. However, be patient with yourself. It’s not necessary to rush into a brand-new life. Finding your way without your partner will take time.
• Respect others’ grieving. Your family members, friends, and children are also mourning the loss of your spouse or partner. Their grief might look different than yours, so it’s important for everyone to respect each other’s process. Recognize that relationships might change a little because of the loss.

You’re Not Alone

Grieving a partner is a deeply personal journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. Allow yourself to feel every emotion without judgment. Accept support from friends, family, or a grief counselor. Talk about your partner, say their name, share memories—keeping their presence alive in your heart.

Loss this deep doesn’t have a timeline. Healing isn’t about “moving on”—it’s about learning to carry love and loss together, about finding a way forward while still honoring the life you shared. And even in the darkest moments, remember love doesn’t end. It changes, it lingers, and in time, it can become a source of strength rather than sorrow.

Sources:

Verywellmind.com. Tips for coping with the death of a spouse. Opens in a new window Published October 24, 2023. Accessed March 18, 2025.

National Council on Aging. The Widowhood Effect: How to Survive the Death of a Spouse Opens in a new window. Updated May 4, 2023. Accessed January 26, 2023.

Helpguide.org. Bereavement: Grieving the Loss of a Loved One. Opens in a new window Updated January 16, 2025. Accessed March 18, 2025

Last updated: April 30, 2025

By: © PAS Wellbeing Media, LLC. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.