When someone is sexually abused as a child, the abuse can take many forms. Examples of sexual misconduct or boundary violations can include unwanted exposure, invasions of privacy, non-consensual physical contact, sexually suggestive comments, exploitative use of personal content, and other inappropriate or unwelcome behaviors. Abuse is often done by a person the child already knows or trusts and can have lasting effects. But the good news is that support is available, and healing is possible.

Understanding Trauma

Some common symptoms of trauma include:

changes in sleep, appetite, or energy levels
health issues (such as pain, headaches, stomachaches)
trouble concentrating
self-blame, shame, guilt, low self-esteem
increased fear and hypervigilance
dissociation, feeling disconnected or numb
flashbacks
anger or thoughts of revenge
depression, despair, hopelessness
suicidal ideation
decreased trust and increased relationship problems

Experiencing trauma is often life-changing. Some people will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and many will experience symptoms that impact their lifestyle. Trauma changes the perception of the world and people in it. Exactly how a trauma will influence someone is hard to tell, but research has shown that these factors can provide information:

Frequency. In general, the more often someone experienced the traumatic event, the more severe the impact can be.
Relationship with the perpetrator. Having a close relationship with the person prior to the abuse can have a more severe impact, especially if the perpetrator was a family member.
Intensity. As the intensity of the abuse increases, so can the effect.
Age. The younger a person was at the time of the abuse the more likely it is that the abuse will have a more serious impact.
Level of support. The more support someone has before, during, or after the event the more likely it is for a person to heal and recover.
Beliefs. Different life perspectives and beliefs can dramatically influence a person’s experience and opinion on trauma and recovery.

It’s important to remember that someone who’s been sexually abused has had their rights violated. Even one instance of inappropriate sexual contact can be traumatic and have an influence on their life choices.

Specific Issues in Adulthood

Those who experience sexual abuse as children may grow up to have a higher chance of developing the following concerns:

depression
negative self-image
pervasive guilt, shame, or self-blame
body image issues, eating disorders
chronic pain or health concerns
tendency to avoid routine healthcare and dental checkups
stress and anxiety

Some survivors may experience challenges related to developing intimacy in relationships. This can include feeling emotionally disconnected, having difficulty with physical or emotional responsiveness, struggling to establish boundaries, fear or a lack of interest in intimacy or engaging in intimacy out of obligation. Others might find themselves navigating patterns of behavior that feel impulsive or risky, including situations that may not align with their personal values or sense of safety.

Healing

Finding relief from trauma symptoms is possible. One of the biggest hurdles that adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse face is overcoming the stigma and shame of telling someone what happened. Men especially may find it difficult to share that they were sexually abused. For most, it’s easier to avoid thoughts, feelings, and any other reminders of the abuse, but this can prevent healing as isolation, fear, and dysfunctional behaviors can take over.

The first step can be to find a safe relationship in which to confide. This might be a friend, counselor, or staff member at a sexual abuse crisis center. Many times, people are willing to share their past after hearing a similar story that provides hope and encouragement. Having the proper support can make a tremendous difference in the process of healing.

Trauma-informed care is one approach to healing and can be applied in a variety of ways. It includes being educated about trauma and the effects it has on someone. It also proposes concepts such as safety, trust, choice, community, empowerment, and a cultural perspective.

These concepts, in addition to supportive relationships, can help the person regain an understanding of how sexual abuse as a child influenced patterns of coping and how they can regain the ability to take their life in a direction of their choice.

Trauma-informed care is often provided in counseling/therapy or through interactions with support groups at crisis centers or other service agencies. Care should always be provided by a trained individual.

Some components of healing include:

Building a positive sense of self.
Reframing or rewriting the narrative of the trauma/abuse
Building skills to help manage symptoms of trauma as well as how to engage in healthy relationships.
Education about trauma.
Encouraging communication of internal experiences such as feelings, thoughts, and any flashbacks or other concerns. Most survivors have spent years keeping these silent, so sharing in appropriate settings is beneficial and helps teach how to use emotions in a productive way.
Strategizing for future events such as going on a date, attending family reunions, going to the doctor for a physical, or anything else that proves to be problematic.
Engaging in non-verbal therapies such as yoga, running, gardening, working with animals, art, or other formats. These methods help regain a sense of connection to physical experiences in a positive way and can provide excellent additions to other forms of healing.

If you are the loved one of a survivor, you can participate in the healing process in multiple ways. Educate yourself about trauma and begin conversations that encourage understanding and developing options for ways you can offer support. Building trust and long-term connection can help your loved one overcome different social problems. If you are the partner of a survivor, these skills can eventually help to resolve any sexual concerns too.

How to Seek Support

If you are looking for support:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: Get help at rainn.org/resources, call 800-656-4673, or live chat at online.rainn.org.
YWCA: Locate services at ywca.org/what-we-do/health-safety/domestic-and-sexual-violence-services
Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA): Find resources at ascasupport.org/resources/

Moving Forward

Healing from childhood sexual abuse is not a linear path, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. But healing is possible. Whether you're just beginning to process your experiences or have been on this journey for years, know that you are not alone. With the right support, education, and compassionate care, many survivors go on to build meaningful, empowered lives. Your story matters, and your wellbeing is worth the effort. Reaching out is a powerful first step — and it's never too late to begin.

Sources:

National Sexual Assault Coalition Resource Sharing Project. Engagement, remembering: services for adult survivors of child sexual abuse. Published 2011. Accessed February 9, 2023.

RAINN. Adult survivors of sexual abuse. Accessed February 9, 2023.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Adult manifestations of childhood sexual abuse. Accessed February 9, 2023.

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