Coping with a Stressful or Traumatic Event

Stressful events, especially those that are traumatic, can have a serious impact on our physical and mental health. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and unable to cope.

In response, we may try to “build a wall” around the incident - and our feelings about it - to keep it removed from the rest of life. We often believe that if we can keep what happened at arm’s length, it won’t affect our lives, jobs, relationships, peace of mind, or sense of security and safety.

Getting Help Is Crucial

In reality, denial as a coping strategy doesn’t work, puts off healing, and often does more damage, leaving lasting scars. If your feelings are not allowed expression, emotional turmoil will surface sooner or later, often in more serious and damaging forms, such as increased illness, depression, anxiety, damaged relationships, and an inability to handle daily life.

However, if normal feelings of grief, loss, fear and even guilt and anger are expressed in an appropriate way at the time of the incident, the emotional impact can be diminished.

What to Expect After a Stressful Event

Depending upon the event itself, how close you were to it, and the ways it directly impacts your life, your reactions can range from disruptive to extreme. Everyone responds and recovers differently. Part of this will depend on your personal characteristics, such as resilience to stress and prior traumatic experiences.

Some common and normal reactions are:

• anxiety, depression
• decreased energy, ambition, or productivity
• difficulty sleeping, eating (or eating too much)
• confusion, difficulty concentrating
• difficulty remembering details of the event
• event flashbacks
• difficulty sleeping/nightmares
• startle reactions (for example, to loud noises)
• headaches, dizziness
• withdrawal from friends and family
• crying, angry outbursts, irritability, anger toward others involved
• shock, or numbness
• guilt/frustration
• mood swings
• chest pain, palpitations, back pain
• digestive disturbances
• muscle tremors or tension
• sadness, loneliness
• feeling unsafe, vulnerable, overwhelmed
• marital/relationship conflict
• increased alcohol/drug use

All of these are normal (expected) reactions to trauma. Don’t measure yours by the responses of others. And know that, with time, emotional support, and counseling (if needed), these stress reactions will pass more quickly.

What You Can Do After an Event

• Reach out to a counselor. Participating in counseling does not imply weakness or insanity. It’s smart and resourceful to find support during an event too powerful for you to manage on your own.
• Seek out comfortable, familiar surroundings, and avoid spending too much me alone.
• Prioritize self-care. Eat well, move your body, and get enough rest.
• Avoid stimulants, such as caffeine, chocolate, and nicotine, as well as depressants such as alcohol. Stay away from other mood-altering substances as well, as they can delay the healing process or even compound your problems regardless of whether abuse or addiction is an issue for you.
• Share your thoughts and feelings with those who are supportive and helpful. Don’t try to block recollections of the event. It helps to talk about them. Communicate your feelings clearly. If you don’t, others may not know how to respond. Let them know which responses are helpful and which are not. Set boundaries with people who have not been helpful in the past.
• Recognize that anniversary dates of a traumatic event may trigger feelings related to that event. This is normal. Proactively plan for them instead of dreading them.
• Give yourself time to recover. Your reactions to the event are normal. Focus on concrete, easily achievable tasks and on healthy ways to cope. Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, flashbacks, and feelings of being “hyperalert” are common and will diminish with time.
• Stay structured. Because of the disruptive nature of the event, adhering to your existing daily schedule will help you to maintain a sense of normalcy and calm. It can also help combat the physical and psychological effects of your stress and trauma. Sitting down to every meal, even if you aren’t hungry, will help to keep your food intake at healthy levels. Going to bed at the same time every night will help to combat insomnia.
• Delay important life changes. The urgency of a big decision often accompanies a crisis. Don’t make those decisions, like changing jobs or selling your home, right now.
• Focus on your immediate needs. Tell yourself it’s okay to take it one day at a time.

While experiencing a traumatic event can be painful and disturbing, dealing with your feelings directly and openly gives you an opportunity to acknowledge—and come to terms with—the impact of the event in a healthy way. That’s why getting help as soon as possible is so important.

Sources:

National Institute of Mental Health. Coping with traumatic events. Opens in a new window Update May 2024. Accessed February 6, 2025.

Helpguide.org. Emotional and psychological trauma Opens in a new window. Updated August 23, 2024. Accessed February 6, 2025.

Newsinhealth.nih.gov. Dealing with trauma: Recovering from frightening events. Opens in a new window Accessed February 6, 2025.

Last updated: April 30, 2025

By: © PAS Wellbeing Media, LLC