You may have heard the saying, “we all react to stress in different ways.” Well, when it comes to young people, they actually do experience and react to stress differently than adults. Their brain is still developing, until about the age of 26, and they don’t have the experience or the tools that adults have to manage stress.

Young people may show stress in different ways too, which can make it harder for adults to recognize it. The stresses they face are often unique to their age and stage of life. And difficult events in childhood can have a negative impact on someone’s future health and wellbeing.

All of these things combined can make youth even more vulnerable to stress. That’s why it’s important that we keep our eyes and ears open to signs that a young person is struggling so we can help as early as possible.

For example, a teen facing peer pressure may need different coping skills than a child anxious about starting school for the first time. So, how can you help?

First, start with you

Take care of yourself. In order to be the best parent or caretaker you can be, first take care of yourself. Find healthy ways to cope with stress you may be facing and build your own support system.
Practice self-compassion. Let your children see that even when things don’t turn out how we had hoped, we’re still kind to ourselves.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. There is no shame or judgment when trying to help your child. Reach out to friends, family and community supports. Consider talking to a professional, such as your child’s pediatrician, school counselor or mental health care provider. It’s never too early to start the conversation.

Helping your child or teen cope with stress

Acknowledge their thoughts, feelings and reactions. Be sure to let them know you think their perspective is valid and important.
Help them find the words to talk about their stress. Use language they can relate to.
Let them know they’re not alone. Reassure them that you’re there to help without judgment or blame.
Help them live healthy lives. A healthy body helps support a healthy mind. Guide them to develop a healthy lifestyle that includes staying physically active, getting enough sleep and keeping up good nutrition.
Find healthy ways to relax. For some kids, relaxing can involve playing sports or music, while others enjoy spending time in nature or creating art. It can look different for each person. Ask your child or teen what makes them feel relaxed. Consider exploring this as a family. Have each person make their own “relaxation list” and share it with one another. You may want to create opportunities to embrace downtime together, whether you’re doing the same or different activities.
Help them connect to people who are good influences for them. Young people value their peers, so it’s important that they have connections with others who are leading healthy lives. Unfortunately, sometimes their peers are the cause of their stress, like in situations with bullying and social media pressures. Keep the line of communication open and make sure they know you’re their ally, not their enemy. Share with them what you notice about the impact of their peers or social media activity. See if they’re open to talking through it with you.
Prepare for things that may cause stress. Each child can have their own unique stressors. It can be helpful to write them down when a young person is not stressed. That way you can plan together some ways you would cope if or when the stressor comes.

If your child or teen is struggling, consider talking to a professional today. Trained mental health counselors can help you and your child take the next steps together.

If you or someone you know are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, seek help right away. If you or a loved one is having a mental health or substance use crisis, call or text 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you have an immediate, life-threatening emergency, call 911.

Sources

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). July 25, 2023. Anxiety and depression in children.

Nemours Children's Health via KidsHealth.org. September 1, 2023. Childhood stress: How parents can help.

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Accessed January 2024. I’m so stressed out! Fact sheet.

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