Starting coaching or therapy can feel intimidating. If it's your first time, you might have some preconceived notions about what the experience will be like. And that's ok. After all, it can involve sharing some of your deepest concerns and most private worries with a stranger

"Feeling nervous before your first session is totally normal," says therapist Maritza Contreras-Rivera, LMFT. "It's also normal if it takes some time to feel fully comfortable with your provider and to figure out if they’re a good fit. What's most important is that you trust the process enough to give it a try."

To help, we asked Contreras-Rivera to address common fears we hear about working with a coach or therapist.

1. Getting mental wellness support will be useless

When it feels like there's no hope, it's important to know that coaching and therapy can be a hope generator.

"If you’re self-aware and caught in a bad place, it’s easy to think you know everything about your situation, and all you need to do is keep working through it," says Contreras-Rivera. "But a provider can help you work through things more effectively. They're trained to bring a new perspective and evidence-based tools and strategies."

2. I'm going to be admitted into in-patient care against my will

This is a common fear. (Thanks, movies and TV!) But it's unfounded.

"Sharing your honest thoughts won't lead to involuntary admission," says Contreras-Rivera. "If you plan to act on certain thoughts, your provider might collaborate with you to get a higher level of care. Or they may recommend that you voluntarily check into a safe care facility. But more often than not, getting extended care like this is your decision."

3. My provider will judge me

Coaches and therapists choose their field of work because they want to help people. Not judge them. And likely, whatever you want to share with your provider, they've already heard it before.

"It's ok to want to be liked by your provider," says Contreras-Rivera. "But remember, they're trained to listen, free of judgment. They're there to help you understand yourself better."

Plus, coaching and therapy work best when you're open and honest. If you struggle with opening up or continue to think you're being judged, let your provider know. This can lead to greater self-awareness.

"When you assume that your provider is judging you, it might be that you’re pre-judging yourself," says Contreras-Rivera. "Give yourself some grace” That said, at the end of the day, if it does feel like a provider is judging you, it’s ok to find a different one.

4. I won't know what to say

People have all kinds of novel reactions to coaching and therapy. Some people talk nonstop during their first session. Others burst into tears before they say anything. If it's your first time seeking professional support, you might even be surprised by what you do say.

"It's perfectly fine to tell your provider, 'I don’t know what to say. I'm just here because I'm sad/frustrated/confused/etc …,'" says Contreras-Rivera. "It’s a provider's job to help you unpack what’s going on, even if you’re not sure what that is yet."

5. I don't have it bad enough

The idea that you need to hit some sort of high score on a "suffer scale" to qualify for support is false. And unreasonable.

"You don't have to be at rock bottom to give coaching or therapy a try," says Contreras-Rivera. "Not feeling your best is enough of a reason to go."

Think of it this way: If you were to break your hand, you wouldn't say, "Well, some people break every bone in their body, so I don't need to get my hand treated," would you?

Plus, getting support to address difficult feelings now can help prevent them from getting worse. A provider can help better understand your thoughts and emotions, so you have an easier time managing your own mental wellness going forward.

6. I'll be in coaching or therapy forever

How long you're in coaching or therapy depends on several factors, including your goals and what your provider thinks would be best for you.

"We equip you with evidence-based skills to help you process difficult emotions and life changes," says Contreras-Rivera. "The idea is to help you live a healthier, happier life, not to keep you coming back." So, if you have a specific goal you’d like to achieve with your provider, be clear up front. Remember, you're the customer. You're not obligated to stay with any provider.

7. People will think I'm crazy

Getting mental wellness support can be private. You don't have to tell anyone. But, if you need extra support, consider confiding in someone you trust.

People may be more supportive than you expect. And you might be surprised to find out how many other people you know are also getting help.

Start coaching or therapy confidently

Seeking mental wellness support can feel scary. But only because you might not know what to expect. We get it. In times of doubt, remember: Your mental wellness shapes how you live your life. You deserve to take care of yourself so you feel better each and every day.

7 fears about coaching and therapy — debunked

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