Every family is made up of a unique combination of people and personalities. Even though healthy families come in all shapes and sizes, they have some things in common. They’re comprised of people who love each other, respect each other’s similarities and differences, and know how to compromise. They’re also fiercely resilient and able to bounce back after crises and periods of prolonged stress.

Negative Coping Strategies

Not all families have healthy relationships. Some incorporate negative strategies for coping with stress that can harm the family dynamic. Here are a few examples:

Distancing. Family members avoid conversations because they are concerned about potential conflict and stop sharing their thoughts and feelings, failing to spend real time together.
Overdoing or Underdoing. One or more family members assume the responsibilities of others, and the remaining members decrease their efforts. People can easily become stuck in this imbalance of responsibility.
Focusing on a child. When severe stress or fighting begins, children are usually the most vulnerable in the household. To avoid conflict, parents will focus their attention solely on that child to calm things down. Their intentions might be good, but often the child reacts to this intense pressure and increased attention and may begin to act out or develop physical or emotional symptoms.
Conflict. Some families will start an all-out war when they’re stressed, engaging in yelling and emotional abuse. The smallest disagreement could set someone off, creating a hostile environment.

Tips to Improve Family Relations

There are many positive ways to manage stress and handle conflict. The following strategies can provide simple solutions for improving family dynamics:

Communication Skills
- Communicate openly. Because conflict is unavoidable in a family, open communication is essential. Family members should feel comfortable asking for help, be able to speak up when they disagree, and share their solutions to a problem.
- Think before you speak. Too often, we automatically react to a situation based on emotion. If we’re able to create some space and consider other family members’ perspectives and thoughts, we can focus on responding instead of reacting. Problem-solving and compromise are much easier when they come from a non-reactive place.
Relational Values
- Explore values. Family members won’t agree on everything because people have their own preferences when it comes to hobbies, tastes, or even political or religious views. However, there are common values they may choose to share and uphold. For example, they might show mutual respect for all family members or demonstrate appreciation for one another with acts of kindness. Shared values become the mortar for a strong family foundation.
- Develop one-to-one relationships. In a healthy family unit, every person has a solid relationship with every other person. No one teams up, complains, or gossips in a family member’s absence.
Personal and Family Responsibilities
- Take personal responsibility. Schedules today are often very full. Families can easily fall out of sync and become unclear about who is doing what. Certain family members may take on more while others take on less. Conflict arises when one person assumes another will handle a situation, and then they don’t. In a healthy family, each member owns their personal responsibilities and accepts any consequences for failing to do so. Family members encourage one another and hold each other accountable.
- Ask for help. Stress happens in every family. A strong, healthy family focuses on the positive in challenging times. They’re able to pull together, share responsibilities, and problem solve. If they need additional help, they don’t hesitate to ask for it. Friends, neighbors, religious communities, or helping professionals all serve as excellent resources.

The success of a healthy family comes down to being together. When you make time for one another, you communicate that you care with more than just your words. Celebrate each other’s victories. Listen to one another’s stories, thoughts, and feelings. Make memories and laugh together. When working toward the common goal of a healthy family, everyone has a shared interest in success.

Sources:

American Psychological Association. Managing stress for a healthy family. Published October 18, 2019. Accessed January 28, 2023.

Very Well Mind. How to have healthy family relationships with less stress. Published January 10, 2023. Accessed January 28, 2023.

Improving Family Relationships

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